Dad jokes
Disney
18 jokes, all of them clean
Disney jokes cover about 90 years of characters, which means the reference pool is enormous and almost entirely safe. Frozen, Mickey, Pluto, the princesses. If you need 1 joke for a room with kids and grandparents in it, this is the topic.
What does Winnie the Pooh call his girlfriend? Hunny.
Why can't Elsa hold a balloon? Because she'll let it go.
Why is Stitch always in trouble? It's literally what he was made for.
What does Olaf eat for lunch? Icebergers.
What's on Mulan's workout playlist? "Let's get down to business."
Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space? To find Pluto.
Why is Cinderella so bad at soccer? She keeps running away from the ball.
What does Ariel like on her toast? Mermalade.
Why was Dory late to the meeting? She forgot where it was.
What did Simba say when his dad walked too slow? "Mufasa!"
Why doesn't Peter Pan ever stop flying? He Neverlands.
What's Buzz Lightyear's favorite dessert? An astro-nut donut.
Why did Tigger look in the toilet? He was looking for Pooh.
Why is Woody always calm? He knows there's a snake in his boot — and he's over it.
How does Moana know where she's going? The ocean gives her direction.
Why is Donald Duck so grumpy? Nobody understands him.
What's Lightning McQueen's favorite meal? Fast food. Ka-chow.
Why is Rapunzel great at parties? She really knows how to let her hair down.
Three generations, one reference pool
Very few properties are known by a 5-year-old and a 75-year-old equally well. Disney is. Mickey has been on screen since 1928, Frozen since 2013, and both are common knowledge in the same room. That is the rarest thing a joke can ask for — a reference nobody has to be told. It is also why the same Elsa joke has been told at roughly every birthday party since 2014.
Let it go, and the ones like it
A chunk of these run off song titles rather than plots, which is smart: people who never saw the film still know the chorus. The balloon one only needs you to have heard 3 words of a song. Jokes built on a plot detail are weaker, because that requires somebody to have actually watched a 90-minute movie, and half the room has not.
The one to actually use
Peter Pan never landing. It is the tidiest construction on the page — 1 word, 2 meanings, no setup wasted — and Peter Pan is old enough that everybody has the reference without having watched anything recently. The Elsa balloon joke gets more laughs in a room with kids in it, but it will age out when the film does. This one will not.
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