Dad jokes
Doctor, Doctor
8 jokes, all of them clean
Doctor, doctor jokes are their own format — a patient states an impossible symptom, the doctor answers with a pun instead of treatment. Old British music hall structure, still working, still 2 lines long.
What's the best time to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty.
"Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "Pull yourself together."
"Doctor, I keep thinking I'm invisible." "Who said that?"
Doctor: "You have acute appendicitis." Patient: "Aww, thanks, doc."
What did the doctor say to the window? "You have a pane."
Why did the pillow go to the doctor? It was feeling all stuffed up.
Why did the doctor carry a red pen? In case he needed to draw blood.
"Doctor, everyone keeps ignoring me." "Next, please!"
The doctor never helps
The whole joke is that the response is useless. I feel like a pair of curtains, pull yourself together. The doctor is not diagnosing, they are punning on the complaint and moving on. That refusal is the format's actual comedy — a professional treating an absurd problem with a worse pun. Any version where the doctor is helpful stops being funny immediately.
Two lines, no setup
This is the most compact format on the site. No scene, no character, no context. The words doctor, doctor do all the setup work in 2 syllables repeated, and everybody knows the shape before the second line arrives. Tooth-hurty is the outlier here — it is not really a doctor-doctor joke, it just lives on this page because dentists had nowhere else to go.
The one to actually use
The pair of curtains. It is the cleanest example of what this format does — the patient states something impossible, and the doctor responds with advice that is both a real idiom and a literal instruction for curtains. Nothing is bent. The invisible one is funnier and slightly cruel, and the acute appendicitis one is the best written thing on the page if you know what acute means.
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