Dad jokes
New Year's
14 jokes, all of them clean.
- What's a New Year's resolution? Something that goes in one year and out the other.
- Why did the calendar look so sad on January 1? Its days were numbered.
- Where can you find comedians on New Year's Eve? Waiting for the punch line.
- What does a ghost say on January 1? "Happy Boo Year!"
- Why did the man sprinkle sugar on his pillow on December 31? To start the year with sweet dreams.
- What's a cow's favorite holiday? Moo Year's Eve.
- Why do you need a jeweler on New Year's Eve? To ring in the new year.
- Why should you put your new calendar in the freezer? To start the year off cool.
- What do snowmen like to do on New Year's Eve? Chill.
- I was going to quit all my bad habits for the new year… but then I remembered nobody likes a quitter.
- What did the little champagne bottle call his father? Pop.
- My New Year's resolution is 1080p. Crystal clear.
- Why did the calendar go on a diet? It had too many dates.
- Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to.
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