Dad jokes
Lord of the Rings
18 jokes, all of them clean.
- How does Treebeard send messages? Through the branch office.
- Why can't you trust Sauron with a secret? He's always got his eye on everything.
- Why don't Nazgûl play poker? They always give themselves away with a shriek.
- What's Gollum's favorite side dish? Onion ringses, precious.
- What's a hobbit's favorite app? Instagram — for the food pics, obviously.
- Why did Legolas get kicked out of class? He wouldn't stop elf-ing around.
- Why did Boromir go to therapy? One does not simply walk away from their problems.
- How many meals does a hobbit eat before noon? However many you're not watching.
- Why is Gimli terrible at hide and seek? Nobody tosses a dwarf — but everybody hears one.
- Why does Gandalf make a terrible hallway monitor? Nobody shall pass.
- What did Frodo say when the oven timer went off? "The bread! It's done, Sam. It's done."
- Why did the Ent take forever to answer? He didn't want to be too hasty.
- What's Aragorn's favorite breakfast? Strider-fried eggs.
- Why doesn't Sauron use a smartphone? He already has a seeing stone with unlimited data.
- What do you call a hobbit who loves math? Bilbo Bag-sums.
- Why did Sam become a gardener? He never met a potato he didn't like. Boil 'em, mash 'em.
- Why is Frodo terrible at carnival games? He just can't let go of the ring.
- Why was the Balrog late to work? He got held up on the bridge.
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