Dad jokes
Father's Day
14 jokes, all of them clean
Father's Day is the one holiday where the joke and the occasion are the same thing. A dad joke on Father's Day is not a joke about dads, it is a demonstration. Golf, socks, grilling, and 1 about falling through ice.
Why do dads take an extra pair of socks golfing? In case they get a hole in one.
What do you call a dad who falls through the ice? A Popsicle.
What did the daddy buffalo say when his kid left for school? "Bison."
"I'm hungry." "Hi Hungry, I'm Dad."
How do you know dad's about to tell a joke? He's breathing.
Why are dads like boomerangs? They always come back around to the same five jokes.
Why did dad bring string to every game? To tie the score.
What's a dad's favorite superhero? Iron Man — somebody's got to do the ironing.
Why did dad frame his electric bill? It was a shocking achievement.
What does a dad say at the start of every road trip? "Everybody go before we leave!"
When does a joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent.
"Dad, are you alright?" "No, I'm half left."
What did dad say when asked if the pool was safe for diving? "It deep ends."
Why did the dad joke cross the road? To get a groan on the other side.
The only self-referential page here
Every other topic on this site is a subject you make jokes about. This one is the format itself, handed back to the person it is named after. That changes what works — the best ones here are not the cleverest, they are the ones that sound most like something a dad would actually say unprompted at a barbecue. The extra socks line is the purest example. It is barely a joke and that is why it is on the page.
Say it out loud, do not text it
These are delivery jokes. A hole in one only works spoken, because the listener has to hear the 2 meanings at the same speed. Written down, the reader sees it coming. Worth remembering generally, but especially here: the dad joke is an oral format, and half of these lose about 30 percent on paper.
The one to actually use
When does a joke become a dad joke. It is the only self-aware joke in this entire collection and it earns the exception, because apparent and a parent are an exact match with nothing bent. It also quietly explains the whole format in 4 words. If you only take 1 thing off this page, take this. Hi Hungry, I'm Dad is the one you will actually use, roughly 40 times a year.
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