Dad jokes
Fall
14 jokes, all of them clean
Fall jokes are almost all about leaves, and leaves are unusually good pun material because the word is a noun and a verb that mean unrelated things. Leaf me alone gets used a lot for a reason.
Why did the apple pie go to the dentist? It needed a filling.
What vegetable do you get when an elephant walks through your garden? Squashed everything.
How do trees access the internet? They log in.
What's the ratio of a pumpkin's circumference to its diameter? Pumpkin pi.
What did autumn say to summer? "Make like a tree and leave."
What did the tree say in autumn? "Leaf me alone."
How do leaves get around? With autumn-mobiles.
What's the cutest season? Awww-tumn.
Why do birds fly south in the fall? It's faster than walking.
What did one autumn leaf say to the other? "I'm falling for you."
What's a scarecrow's favorite fruit? Straw-berries.
What do you call a big, colorful pile of leaves? The Great Barrier Leaf.
Why is it hard to trust trees in fall? Sooner or later, they all leaf.
What's a pumpkin's favorite sport? Squash.
One word carrying a season
Leaf and leave are the same sound. That single collision underwrites most of this page — leaf me alone, turning over a new leaf, autumn-mobiles. Add the fact that the season itself has 2 names, fall and autumn, and both are ordinary English words doing other jobs, and you have a topic where the vocabulary is doing the comedy and the writer is mostly getting out of the way.
The cutest season, and the rest
Awww-tumn is the kind of joke that is either the best or the worst one on the page depending on the person. That split is worth knowing before you use it. The safer picks are the leaf ones — they have a real double meaning rather than a stretched sound, and they survive being told to somebody who is not in the mood.
The one to actually use
The pumpkin's circumference to its diameter. It is the only joke on this page that is not about leaves, and it is the smartest thing here — a real mathematical constant, a real seasonal dessert, and the same sound. It also rewards knowing something, which almost nothing else in this collection does. The Great Barrier Leaf is the runner up and it is very good.
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